It's 2.19 am on a Saturday morning. If you had asked what I was doing at this time last year, I would've said, 'pregnant, & asleep in bed by 7:00 pm every night'. If you had asked me a what I was doing 2 years ago, I would've said, 'out drinking & partying'. What about 3 years ago? I would had been looking after my new born baby. And 4 years ago, out partying & drinking up, and so on.
This was the cycle I had been in for the last 12 years. Just the same thing, drinking, partying & having kids. Today, I chose to change that narrative.
At the beginning of 2020, I decided to get some goals & actually follow through on them. It's easy to talk the talk, but to walk your talk is really the hardest part of achieving your goals. First you feel fear. Fear of failing, going through every worse scenario possible that could happen, which gives you more reason to think you are going to fail. Then there's the embarrassment you need to face if you do fail. You begin to listen to naysayers. You don't want to leave your comfortable job, a job that you hate by the way. You don't want to put money into your goals, because you don't want to waste it, if you do try & then fail. Omg, there are so many reasons that many do not pursue their real passions, or goals, but those few examples were just some of the reasons why I hadn't. Up until now.
Basically, I was just tired. Tired of settling, being unhappy, not giving my all at life when I knew I had so much more to give. So I made a decision, to start taking action. I really didn't know what that meant, so I just started on me. I started to chose happiness. I made decisions based on whether it made me happy. I was working on myself! I was putting my happiness as priority number 1. And when I started doing that, everything seemed so much clearer. I stopped making up bullshit "why's" for everything, you know? all the excuses on 'why' things are happening the way it was. I ended toxic connections. I started reading, researching, listening to more podcasts, getting back in touch with my spirituality & my personal growth journey began.
When corona virus happened, it opened my eyes to the reality of this world. That we are in a system, controlled by a group of people, that can just take control of our living circumstances, in a matter seconds. Just say the words, and we could be locked down, in our homes, businesses gone, borders closed, airlines cancelled, no way to see our family, or make more money. And at first I felt defeated, like I had done nothing in my life that I wanted to do. Almost like my freedom had been taken away, and I had a feeling of regret, for not having tried at least, to really live life the way I wanted to. But after that feeling had it's moment, my emotions started to change, then I started to get this fire in my belly. I thought, everyone is in the same boat as me, right now! Like a reset button had been pushed. Like it was a second chance to 'catch up' with everyone else. And that's when I decided to use that time to really knuckle down, and get my shit together, to study, research & plan my next step.
My views on the future, and on life, had changed. I decided I didn't need Gucci, and Louis Vuitton, but that I needed to begin something to start generating money. But how, when I don't have money? I decided to start selling anything and everything that was of value in my wardrobe. I sold all my designer clothes, bags, shoes, heels, accessories, you name it. And with all of that money, I paid for my training & built Raquel's Beauty Room.
I still can't believe I am doing it! Taking action! It's such a surreal feeling, but I am definitely loving the process.
When I became a single mother I promised myself, that the only way to be the best mum that I could be, was first to lead by example. My children are my absolute PURPOSE. I thought I knew that before, but now that I can see clearer, I actually believe in it.
Choose happiness, cut toxic connections out of your life, find/know your purpose & then begin your legacy!!
If I can have the courage to do something like this, then anyone can. We get one chance at life, you may as well go hard! And live the only way you want to. Don't let anything, or anyone stand in your way. It might hurt, but not as much as it would if you didn't try. And help some people along the way. I believe that is what everyone on earth should do without saying. I didn't plan on having a certain structure for my blog lol I know it's all over the place, but I'm just going to get on here and just talk but I just hope my story might help someone. One day.
Cheers to happiness, hustling, and helping each other
Raquel x
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